I row to work in my suit and tie
Before I leave, kiss my dog goodbye
The sea is always flat
So I don’t worry bout
What could happen if I fell out
My briefcase is heavy in the boat
So I put it up front to keep me afloat
I love my job, the banker I am
I invented the Monopoly Program.
My cottage is on an Island
In the middle of Ireland
With a stunning view of the sea
I really feel it’s the place for me
I’ve lived alone with my dog
Since Margret left like a leapfrog
She wanted Ben
Way back then
She told me she was going
To get married to Ben Glowing
I cried for days
Went to see plays
About happy endings
But now my problem is with spending
Mama kept recommending
“Counseling is for you, now Kevin stop pretending.”
“She’s married now in Galway,”
“She visited Linda the other day.”
Mama visited every spring
Normally good news she’d bring
She left a couple days later
Gifting me an app called ‘Dater’
I know what she was implying
But right now I feel like dying